I hope people will come to my yard sale. I’ve put up signs all over town. It’s not that hard to get to my house. Simply turn left onto Moccasin Street. Watch out for the thing- you’ll know what I mean. Get out of your car and walk over to a yellow house with a blue tiled roof. You will then meet my neighbor. His name is Sir Snorts-a-lot (yes, I know, who names a baby “Sir Snorts-a-lot?”). Knock on the door and he will give you magical granola that will make you magical. Eat it. Have you eaten it yet? Once you have, I have something to tell you. The granola isn’t magical, it’s poisonous. You will die in twenty-four hours. But don’t worry, I have the antidote and it can be yours for only $19.95 (that’s what I’m selling at my yard sale.)
After that, get into your car and you will come across an old dirt road on the left. Turn onto the street and you will notice a big half-broken ramp. Drive quickly and just maybe you might make it. Don’t drive to slow unless you’re fond of sharks. After jumping the ramp take a quick right (I know there are no road there, just run over the trees!)
If you keep going straight you will reach a big field. Get to the edge where you’ll see a dirt trail. Be careful where you drive, there are several land mines. I’ve discovered over nine! When you reach the dirt trail, get out of your car and continue on foot. Keep walking until you come across it. Be careful not to touch it though, it eats… you don’t want to know. When you get past it you will come to a cliff. Pull out your hang glider. What? You didn’t bring one? Ugh. Okay, you don’t have a hang glider. I don’t care- jump!
As you are falling you will see floating bagels, if you are hungry you can eat them (fine don’t trust me, don’t eat them.) You will then land in a hole filled with bloodthirsty hippos. Assuming you are still alive after this encounter, climb from the hole and you will find my house hidden behind a boulder. Climb over the boulder and you will see it.
On the porch of my house you will see me behind a stand selling antidotes to all my happy customers. Buy yours now, only $19.95.
MUHAHAHA! My evil marketing strategy has you hooked! I'll give you a deal; If you by my antidote, I will give you a free batch of magic granola. How 'bout that for a deal?
If you keep going straight you will reach a big field. Get to the edge where you’ll see a dirt trail. Be careful where you drive, there are several land mines. I’ve discovered over nine! When you reach the dirt trail, get out of your car and continue on foot. Keep walking until you come across it. Be careful not to touch it though, it eats… you don’t want to know. When you get past it you will come to a cliff. Pull out your hang glider. What? You didn’t bring one? Ugh. Okay, you don’t have a hang glider. I don’t care- jump!
As you are falling you will see floating bagels, if you are hungry you can eat them (fine don’t trust me, don’t eat them.) You will then land in a hole filled with bloodthirsty hippos. Assuming you are still alive after this encounter, climb from the hole and you will find my house hidden behind a boulder. Climb over the boulder and you will see it.
On the porch of my house you will see me behind a stand selling antidotes to all my happy customers. Buy yours now, only $19.95.
MUHAHAHA! My evil marketing strategy has you hooked! I'll give you a deal; If you by my antidote, I will give you a free batch of magic granola. How 'bout that for a deal?