By: Max Levine
A man named John Frazier was in a fatal car accident involving him, a 1998 Ford Mustang, and a pole. This accident was created in response to a collision between the pole and the Mustang. The point of impact between these two objects occurred at the intersection connecting Main Street and Broad Street.
The twenty year old may have lost control of the vehicle because rain had caused the road he was driving on to be wet and slick. It is in question why the car was going at a speed of over sixty miles per hour, almost twenty miles over the speed limit. It was then found that John Frazier’s foot was causing this large amount of speed, which was pressed against the gas pedal.
After the pole and the Mustang collided, John Frazier exited the car in an untraditional way, which resulted in the creation of a hole in the automobile’s windshield slightly larger than John Frazier. Investigation is underway by car manufacturers to find out John’s creative way of exiting the vehicle so that it may be used in future car models. The young man was found dead, lying about twenty feet from the start of his flight.
A large gash in the man’s stomach shows that the twenty year old probably died of a large gash in his stomach. Although this conclusion is slightly redundant, health care professionals lay assured that this information is completely accurate and should not be pursued any longer.
“Through a series of tests which involved the deaths of thousands of lab rats and several volunteers, we found that fatality could be caused by splitting open the stomach and removing it’s contents,” said Ph.D doctor Carmen Bur, a representative of Oregon Health and Science University.
John Frazier’s body will be buried in Whale Cemetery this Saturday. Please join us at 5:30 PM to mourn the death of this wonderful man. This funeral is not open to the public so please don’t bother coming.
A man named John Frazier was in a fatal car accident involving him, a 1998 Ford Mustang, and a pole. This accident was created in response to a collision between the pole and the Mustang. The point of impact between these two objects occurred at the intersection connecting Main Street and Broad Street.
The twenty year old may have lost control of the vehicle because rain had caused the road he was driving on to be wet and slick. It is in question why the car was going at a speed of over sixty miles per hour, almost twenty miles over the speed limit. It was then found that John Frazier’s foot was causing this large amount of speed, which was pressed against the gas pedal.
After the pole and the Mustang collided, John Frazier exited the car in an untraditional way, which resulted in the creation of a hole in the automobile’s windshield slightly larger than John Frazier. Investigation is underway by car manufacturers to find out John’s creative way of exiting the vehicle so that it may be used in future car models. The young man was found dead, lying about twenty feet from the start of his flight.
A large gash in the man’s stomach shows that the twenty year old probably died of a large gash in his stomach. Although this conclusion is slightly redundant, health care professionals lay assured that this information is completely accurate and should not be pursued any longer.
“Through a series of tests which involved the deaths of thousands of lab rats and several volunteers, we found that fatality could be caused by splitting open the stomach and removing it’s contents,” said Ph.D doctor Carmen Bur, a representative of Oregon Health and Science University.
John Frazier’s body will be buried in Whale Cemetery this Saturday. Please join us at 5:30 PM to mourn the death of this wonderful man. This funeral is not open to the public so please don’t bother coming.